(A bathroom with the shower running. It is Annie’s dormroom, her name has been changed to protect her. It is a college girls bathroom with stuff all over the vanity. The steam is covering the mirror and someone in the shower is singing along with the song on the radio. There is laughing.)
Annie: Because we are living in a material world and I am a uh uh uh material material- boys may come and boys may go! Yo! And I am a material a material a material a material a material a material woooorrrrllllddd!
(Enter Porche one of annie’s roommates)
Porche: hey material girl, you know I don’t want to interrupt your little fantacy and all but I think this material girl is using up all the hot water
Anniet: sorry I’m going to get out right now
(Porche goes to leave but stops in the doorway)
Porche: so theres nothing going on with you and that boy?
Annie: nope
Porche: Really? Are you sure?
Annie: Yeah I don’t think he even likes me I think it was just something silly means nothing
Porche: Ok Cloe if you say so…
Annie/Cloe: yeah I’m sure he doesn’t like me
Porche: What makes you think he doesn’t like you?
Cloe: because…
Porche: yeah I think you are lying
Cloe: i-I’m…no…nope
Porche: Yeah right there (she pulls the curtain back and reviels Trevor and Annie in the shower) Ho ho ho!
Cloe: (Screams) Porche (Trevor covers his junk)
Porche: I think you like him because you are in the shower with him, that’s why I think you like him
Cloe: I can explain
Porche: he isn’t like your brother or something is he?
Cloe: (offended) no!
Trevor: no!
Porche: Oh and he talks! So tell me why you two cant be together and so you sneek shower times!
Cloe: ok but can I get dressed please!
Porche: fine but I’m going to be waiting I have to got check something downstairs(Porche exits)
Cloe: Holy crap!
Trevor: its ok baby she isn’t going to tell anyone I don’t think she got a good look at me
Cloe: I’m not even supposed to be seeing you, its too risky
Trevor: I know but I’m mad about you and your mad about me lost in your eyes mad about love mad about you you and iiiiiiii! (he starts dancing)
(Annie starts to laugh)
Annie: god I love you!
Trevor: don’t worry we will figure it out….hold me now its hard for me to say im sorry!
Annie: I just want you to stay
Trevor: after all that weve been through ill make it up to you, I promise you!
(They both start to laugh)
Annie: ok but seriously she might come back up and we will be in big trouble. What are we going to say.
Trevor: (thinks) maybe I’m a hard core drug addict and that’s why you cant see me, im too bad for you baby
Annie: no you are too good for that
Trevor: I’m a serial killer and I only hunt college girls
Annie: that’s weird don’t say that! We aren’t supposed to see each other
Trevor: I know but it is too hard for me not to see you and now when I do see you it is sooo hard
Annie: (blushes) Trevor!
Trevor: ok but my real name is Alex and I’m actually 55 years old and trying to get you to be my personal porn star.
Annie: that doesn’t sound so far from the truth (Hears Porche on the stairs) hide in the closet then run into the bedroom and hide go go go!
(Trevor ducks out as Porche enters)
Porche: Ok where did he go?
Cloe: He had to go, tests tomorrow and what not
Porche: no he didn’t go I was downstairs I would have- (sees something on the counter) what is this?
Cloe: nothing (snatches it)
Porche: a pregnancy test?? Are you pregnant?
Cloe: no, maybe….i don’t know
Porche: ok what is going on Cloe?? Seriously I care about you, I don’t want to see you get hurt, who is this guy?
Cloe: just some guy I met
Porche: well I know he doesn’t go to our campus
Cloe: I know he goes somewhere else
Porche: Where?
Cloe: Port Chester
Porche: (Squints her eyes) ok well then why are you hiding him?
Cloe: I’m not hiding him- I just didn’t think you would be home this early
Porche: what are you trying to protect- (gasps) ohhh my god! Is he with some other girl and now you are pregnant with his kid????? Ohhhh Cloe no!
Cloe: yep that is totally it
Porche: I know I have a sick sense for this kind of thing you know
(Cloe nodding)
Porche: Ohh my god! I cant believe him! I’m totally going to kick his ass when I see him- does the other girl know about you? of course not but you know about her…
Cloe: i-uhh cant really tell her though…she has three kids
Porche: (Freaking out more) NO! yes this dude is a total asshole! I cant believe you like him Cloe what is wrong with you?
Cloe: I didn’t really-
Porche: You didn’t really want to have sex with him and he forced you??? OHH MY GOD! (Door opens and another roommate Terra comes in)
Monday, May 21, 2007
Monday, May 7, 2007
24: Explosive Results
On one side of an exploded building.
Gloria: What you do is call in a bomb threat as a tiddly-wink diversion. You stand not to far from where you called it. You watch as the swat team comes in. Swoops in.
DR: And?
Gloria: Then when they’re all inside. You press detonate!
DR: Excellent.
Gloria: Then the police will come and the others too, the fat ones, the skinny ones, and all the dumb ones who love spectacle and while they sit fat on their arses watching, we go commit a larger crime. Get me, pookie?
DR: Of course.
On the other side of the exploded building amidst chaos.
Annie: When is this nightmare going to end? When?
Jonathan: When we’re dead or when Gloria gets what she wants.
Trevor: Can’t we kill her?
Jonathan: I tried once. She’s like a ghost.
Annie: We need to know her weakness. But what about the movie reels?
Trevor: What about them?
Annie: Weren’t they in there?
Trevor: No, my friend Corey has them.
Annie: Don’t speak that out loud. Oh no there’s, Robert. We have to go.
Jonathan: We’ll have to go to Curtis Falco, he’s a trusted friend. I’ll take you to him now. He is kind of the leader of us.
Trevor: Nobody is the leader of me. God I just want to relax and read a book.
Jonathan: We can’t relax now.
Suddenly Trevor goes into violent spasms and disappears into thin air.
Annie: TREVOR!
On the other side of the building. Robert comes crawling from the flames.
Robert: They got their ropes untied and locked me in a closet.
Gloria: I was worried, toodles, that you were dead.
Robert: You don’t look very worried.
DR: Shhhh. Gloria is very tired. She just tried her first incantation since breaking into the magic wing.
Gloria: If it worked right, ma cherie Trevor should be back at FEMJINA INC. in the lab.
Robert: What did you say?
Gloria: Bibbity-Booobity-Bome. Make the boy in question go to his rightful home.
And then I do the secret move and it should work.
A dance competition. Alisa is being cheered off the stage. Roses, Flowers, and Chocolates are being tossed to her. Her Mom runs up and hugs her. Then she speaks to the audience.
Mom: I just want to say my daughter has worked so hard on this routine. Thank you for bringing us here in this competition.
Spectator: Your daughter is hot!
Spec. 2: So are you!
Mom: (blushes) Thank you.
Spec 3: Show us your titties!
Mom: I don’t think that’ll be happening today. Margaret and I are very tired. Aren’t you Margaret?
Alisa: Yes, I am, but thank you for all our support.
The crowd goes wild. Amidst the cheering, this follows somewhat overlapping:
Spec: You’re awesome!
Spec 3: Margaret, you’re magical. Awesome. Spectacular
Spec 5: I wanna dance like you. Do you teach lessons?
Mom: Margaret and I are thinking of opening our own studio. But I assure you it’s not magic. It’s. . .
In the center of the stage, Trevor reappears in front of the whole crowd. Dead silence for a second and then an uproar.
Mom: The hell with it. It’s magic. (to Alisa, quietly) We have to get him out of here.
Gloria: What you do is call in a bomb threat as a tiddly-wink diversion. You stand not to far from where you called it. You watch as the swat team comes in. Swoops in.
DR: And?
Gloria: Then when they’re all inside. You press detonate!
DR: Excellent.
Gloria: Then the police will come and the others too, the fat ones, the skinny ones, and all the dumb ones who love spectacle and while they sit fat on their arses watching, we go commit a larger crime. Get me, pookie?
DR: Of course.
On the other side of the exploded building amidst chaos.
Annie: When is this nightmare going to end? When?
Jonathan: When we’re dead or when Gloria gets what she wants.
Trevor: Can’t we kill her?
Jonathan: I tried once. She’s like a ghost.
Annie: We need to know her weakness. But what about the movie reels?
Trevor: What about them?
Annie: Weren’t they in there?
Trevor: No, my friend Corey has them.
Annie: Don’t speak that out loud. Oh no there’s, Robert. We have to go.
Jonathan: We’ll have to go to Curtis Falco, he’s a trusted friend. I’ll take you to him now. He is kind of the leader of us.
Trevor: Nobody is the leader of me. God I just want to relax and read a book.
Jonathan: We can’t relax now.
Suddenly Trevor goes into violent spasms and disappears into thin air.
Annie: TREVOR!
On the other side of the building. Robert comes crawling from the flames.
Robert: They got their ropes untied and locked me in a closet.
Gloria: I was worried, toodles, that you were dead.
Robert: You don’t look very worried.
DR: Shhhh. Gloria is very tired. She just tried her first incantation since breaking into the magic wing.
Gloria: If it worked right, ma cherie Trevor should be back at FEMJINA INC. in the lab.
Robert: What did you say?
Gloria: Bibbity-Booobity-Bome. Make the boy in question go to his rightful home.
And then I do the secret move and it should work.
A dance competition. Alisa is being cheered off the stage. Roses, Flowers, and Chocolates are being tossed to her. Her Mom runs up and hugs her. Then she speaks to the audience.
Mom: I just want to say my daughter has worked so hard on this routine. Thank you for bringing us here in this competition.
Spectator: Your daughter is hot!
Spec. 2: So are you!
Mom: (blushes) Thank you.
Spec 3: Show us your titties!
Mom: I don’t think that’ll be happening today. Margaret and I are very tired. Aren’t you Margaret?
Alisa: Yes, I am, but thank you for all our support.
The crowd goes wild. Amidst the cheering, this follows somewhat overlapping:
Spec: You’re awesome!
Spec 3: Margaret, you’re magical. Awesome. Spectacular
Spec 5: I wanna dance like you. Do you teach lessons?
Mom: Margaret and I are thinking of opening our own studio. But I assure you it’s not magic. It’s. . .
In the center of the stage, Trevor reappears in front of the whole crowd. Dead silence for a second and then an uproar.
Mom: The hell with it. It’s magic. (to Alisa, quietly) We have to get him out of here.
Sunday, May 6, 2007
23
The curtain is pulled and the stage is sectioned into an upper half and a lower half. The lights are constantly changing while the actors run across the stage in a five minute interlude. As the chasing becomes more and more intense the actors start to make sounds of screaming and fear. From the side Alisa starts to dance onto stage as in the background the characters still chase themselves. She continues to dance as some of the people get caught and start to tie each other up. Alisa keeps dancing. The swat team comes in and then the lights go out and there is a huge explosion.
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
22: Blood Bath
Annie and Trevor appear groggy. Gloria walks right up to them and puts her face about two inches from their faces.
Gloria: Rise and shine! Mommy’s here to wake you!
Trevor backs into a corner. Annie screams through the gag. DR. laughs. Robert holds the knife above Annie’s heart.
Robert: Do you want me to do it?
Gloria: Not yet. We have some fanciful stuff to talk to these two about. Besides I told you to kill her already and you didn’t, so might as well wait now.
Robert: Fuck waiting.
He slams the knife down. Annie has moved at the opportune time and he slices through her hand ties. She does a roll and rolls out from under the lumbering, fat Robert. Her legs are still tied and she has a gag on. Everyone watches intently. Annie hops up onto her feet –many years of gymnastics helped with this- and makes her way into a corner of the basement lab room.
Gloria: Get her! I said, Get her! Or I’ll get you!
Robert: I’m trying.
DR. G stands up. He pulls a pistol out of the desk. Meanwhile Trevor has managed to get the gag off. Nobody is watching him. Gloria starts unbuttoning her blouse. There are footsteps approaching outside the door.
Gloria: Get the door!
DR. G runs over to the door and pushes it closed just as it starts to open. Annie hops over to where DR. G is and grabs his mid-section and starts to pull on him to allow the door to open.
Robert: What should I do? What should I do?
Gloria: Can’t you get a kid down in the dirt? Can’t you?
She starts to unbutton her blouse. Trevor uses his teeth to untie his hands. Then he works on his feet. Robert stabs a few times trying to hit her, but misses. Annie uses DR. G as an anchor and then jumps up with her legs and kicks Robert across the room. He hits Gloria and she flies backwards hitting Trevor who is free. Annie notices the pistol sticking out of G’s pants and grabs it. She points it on Gloria and Robert. DR G grabs her from behind and the gun goes off. The door flies open and pushes DR G to the floor. Robert has been grazed in the ear. Blood spurts out. He screams. Annie steps to the side. Trevor buttons his mother’s blouse.
Trevor: Don’t even think about using those sick teetons!
Outside the door, three people walk in. Belle Peabody, and her two henchmen. They walk slowly unafraid and observe the room. Blood and bodies litter it everywhere.
Belle: Well, Well, well, Gloria. I should have known it was you. Put the gun down, child.
Annie: (shouting) NO!
Belle: They taught you well in that rape class. Now put the gun down.
Belle waves her arm and magically, Annie drops the gun.
Annie: What the-
When the gun hits the ground, it shoots and grazes Robert’s leg. He screams again and blood comes from a new wound.
Belle: What do you have to say for yourself, Gloria?
Gloria: Nothing, Belle Peabody. Nothing at all. What did you come to tell me? Or do to me?
Belle: Oh, nothing. I came down here to congratulate you on a job well done. It’s only taken you fifteen years to produce this movie and now it’s about done. I want the reels to the film.
Trevor: You are to say nothing about the people she’s killed?
Belle: What people?
Silence. Bloody bodies litter the place.
Belle: I’m concerned with movies, Trevor. Where are the reels to the film?
Gloria: Yes, where are they?
Trevor: I will give them to you on one condition.
Gloria/Belle: What’s that?
Trevor: You let me and Annie go.
Gloria: No!
Belle: Yes. You must go, go now. Please leave. I trust you will find your way out of here and then you will leave the reels of film in an undisclosed location. If not, we will kill you.
Annie and Trevor run out of the lab unscathed.
DR: Why did you do that?
Robert: Those fucking kids-
Belle: Calm yourselves. There are others associated with this project who have not been killed yet. One Jonathan Brewster, Curtis Falco, and a certain league of women voters who have to be hunted down and killed. When this film is released, we want nobody talking about it. . .or I’m not Belle Peabody. Come along. (pause, turns back for a second) And Gloria, I leave all of that up to you. Congratulations on becoming the new President of Femjina Inc.
Gloria: But you’re still in charge, how can I be the master of all?
Belle: Masters always have to answer to someone. And don’t you forget it.
She and her guards exit.
Gloria: Don’t worry, my men, once they are dead, she will be dead too.
The three of them laugh.
Gloria: Rise and shine! Mommy’s here to wake you!
Trevor backs into a corner. Annie screams through the gag. DR. laughs. Robert holds the knife above Annie’s heart.
Robert: Do you want me to do it?
Gloria: Not yet. We have some fanciful stuff to talk to these two about. Besides I told you to kill her already and you didn’t, so might as well wait now.
Robert: Fuck waiting.
He slams the knife down. Annie has moved at the opportune time and he slices through her hand ties. She does a roll and rolls out from under the lumbering, fat Robert. Her legs are still tied and she has a gag on. Everyone watches intently. Annie hops up onto her feet –many years of gymnastics helped with this- and makes her way into a corner of the basement lab room.
Gloria: Get her! I said, Get her! Or I’ll get you!
Robert: I’m trying.
DR. G stands up. He pulls a pistol out of the desk. Meanwhile Trevor has managed to get the gag off. Nobody is watching him. Gloria starts unbuttoning her blouse. There are footsteps approaching outside the door.
Gloria: Get the door!
DR. G runs over to the door and pushes it closed just as it starts to open. Annie hops over to where DR. G is and grabs his mid-section and starts to pull on him to allow the door to open.
Robert: What should I do? What should I do?
Gloria: Can’t you get a kid down in the dirt? Can’t you?
She starts to unbutton her blouse. Trevor uses his teeth to untie his hands. Then he works on his feet. Robert stabs a few times trying to hit her, but misses. Annie uses DR. G as an anchor and then jumps up with her legs and kicks Robert across the room. He hits Gloria and she flies backwards hitting Trevor who is free. Annie notices the pistol sticking out of G’s pants and grabs it. She points it on Gloria and Robert. DR G grabs her from behind and the gun goes off. The door flies open and pushes DR G to the floor. Robert has been grazed in the ear. Blood spurts out. He screams. Annie steps to the side. Trevor buttons his mother’s blouse.
Trevor: Don’t even think about using those sick teetons!
Outside the door, three people walk in. Belle Peabody, and her two henchmen. They walk slowly unafraid and observe the room. Blood and bodies litter it everywhere.
Belle: Well, Well, well, Gloria. I should have known it was you. Put the gun down, child.
Annie: (shouting) NO!
Belle: They taught you well in that rape class. Now put the gun down.
Belle waves her arm and magically, Annie drops the gun.
Annie: What the-
When the gun hits the ground, it shoots and grazes Robert’s leg. He screams again and blood comes from a new wound.
Belle: What do you have to say for yourself, Gloria?
Gloria: Nothing, Belle Peabody. Nothing at all. What did you come to tell me? Or do to me?
Belle: Oh, nothing. I came down here to congratulate you on a job well done. It’s only taken you fifteen years to produce this movie and now it’s about done. I want the reels to the film.
Trevor: You are to say nothing about the people she’s killed?
Belle: What people?
Silence. Bloody bodies litter the place.
Belle: I’m concerned with movies, Trevor. Where are the reels to the film?
Gloria: Yes, where are they?
Trevor: I will give them to you on one condition.
Gloria/Belle: What’s that?
Trevor: You let me and Annie go.
Gloria: No!
Belle: Yes. You must go, go now. Please leave. I trust you will find your way out of here and then you will leave the reels of film in an undisclosed location. If not, we will kill you.
Annie and Trevor run out of the lab unscathed.
DR: Why did you do that?
Robert: Those fucking kids-
Belle: Calm yourselves. There are others associated with this project who have not been killed yet. One Jonathan Brewster, Curtis Falco, and a certain league of women voters who have to be hunted down and killed. When this film is released, we want nobody talking about it. . .or I’m not Belle Peabody. Come along. (pause, turns back for a second) And Gloria, I leave all of that up to you. Congratulations on becoming the new President of Femjina Inc.
Gloria: But you’re still in charge, how can I be the master of all?
Belle: Masters always have to answer to someone. And don’t you forget it.
She and her guards exit.
Gloria: Don’t worry, my men, once they are dead, she will be dead too.
The three of them laugh.
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
21
Off stage screams can be heard in random order. There is much rustling and then dragging sounds from stage right. Dr G is seated at the desk and Gloria is pacing the room looking for things in the air to bring more light to the subject. The sounds of dragging become closer then stop as the lights come up on the doctor and Gloria in the room. Gloria paces and mutters to herself when she is not answering the doctor.
Gloria: (muttered) in the plan yes yes it was all in the plan and now…
Dr. G: lovely?
Gloria: Not now you twit
Dr. G: Well dear I just think we should talk about this, there are so many possibilities
Gloria: yes I know there are so many possibilities do you take me for a commoner?
Dr. G: Well, no
Gloria: good then don’t ask me stupid questions that I already know (continues to pace)
Dr. G: I just want to know what you think we are going to do with all these bodies and then all the people who are going to rally outside and then maybe about Robert who is out to kill Trevor because he is deeply in love with you, which I don’t get. I don’t really get that at all I mean was there something between you two?
Gloria: you already know the answer to that
Dr. G: yes I know you have told me that you shared a bed and nothing more. But my thoughts have been thinking that there was something more. That you are Robert were-
Gloria: (Enraged) not another word out of your mouth or I will have you silenced forever. Do you read me? are you catching this? Because doctor this is big- (his face turns green) what? What is that smell?(she turns to find Robert in the doorway)
Robert: no no no young Glorit my darling. Not another word of our secrets together. Not another thing or it will ruin everything. I mean you have ruined most of it already. Now sit down or I will have my hunting knife sit you down for you. (Gloria sits) now, I brought someone that I think you might want to see again. I think you remember this man. But first I want to bring in your son- well one of your sons. (Trevor is dragged in by his feet he is bound and gagged and unconscious.) Oh he will be fine. Give the boy some room. (Then he brings in Annie who is also bound and gagged and unconcious) and what would one child be without the other child. Dr. G looks at Gloria.
Dr G: other child?
Robert: DON’T INTERUPT ME I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE INTERUPT me. yes darling Annie is one of Gloria’s children. Oh you didn’t know? She fathered or should I say mothered an army.
Gloria: An army is really an exaggeration
Robert: NO it isn’t. really I just wanted some more love. The kind of love that you used to give me. the kind of love that we had when we started out-
Gloria: that kind of love doesn’t exist anymore. That kind of love is drained from us. We are no longer an us anymore. We are no longer the army that we talked about. That dream is gone from-Robert: well it doesn’t need to be gone you know that. You can still love me I can change- (Trevor and Annie start to wake up)
Gloria: (muttered) in the plan yes yes it was all in the plan and now…
Dr. G: lovely?
Gloria: Not now you twit
Dr. G: Well dear I just think we should talk about this, there are so many possibilities
Gloria: yes I know there are so many possibilities do you take me for a commoner?
Dr. G: Well, no
Gloria: good then don’t ask me stupid questions that I already know (continues to pace)
Dr. G: I just want to know what you think we are going to do with all these bodies and then all the people who are going to rally outside and then maybe about Robert who is out to kill Trevor because he is deeply in love with you, which I don’t get. I don’t really get that at all I mean was there something between you two?
Gloria: you already know the answer to that
Dr. G: yes I know you have told me that you shared a bed and nothing more. But my thoughts have been thinking that there was something more. That you are Robert were-
Gloria: (Enraged) not another word out of your mouth or I will have you silenced forever. Do you read me? are you catching this? Because doctor this is big- (his face turns green) what? What is that smell?(she turns to find Robert in the doorway)
Robert: no no no young Glorit my darling. Not another word of our secrets together. Not another thing or it will ruin everything. I mean you have ruined most of it already. Now sit down or I will have my hunting knife sit you down for you. (Gloria sits) now, I brought someone that I think you might want to see again. I think you remember this man. But first I want to bring in your son- well one of your sons. (Trevor is dragged in by his feet he is bound and gagged and unconscious.) Oh he will be fine. Give the boy some room. (Then he brings in Annie who is also bound and gagged and unconcious) and what would one child be without the other child. Dr. G looks at Gloria.
Dr G: other child?
Robert: DON’T INTERUPT ME I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE INTERUPT me. yes darling Annie is one of Gloria’s children. Oh you didn’t know? She fathered or should I say mothered an army.
Gloria: An army is really an exaggeration
Robert: NO it isn’t. really I just wanted some more love. The kind of love that you used to give me. the kind of love that we had when we started out-
Gloria: that kind of love doesn’t exist anymore. That kind of love is drained from us. We are no longer an us anymore. We are no longer the army that we talked about. That dream is gone from-Robert: well it doesn’t need to be gone you know that. You can still love me I can change- (Trevor and Annie start to wake up)
Sunday, April 29, 2007
20: Gloria becomes President of FEMJINA INC.
Gloria: So fancy that my little pig droppings.
Robert: You’ve given me everything, Gloria. Freedom. You’ve given me complete freedom to live the life that I want. I have a lot of little boys to play with and you have fed me, clothed me, and housed me. You have even saved me from the police.
Gloria: The pigs will never be involved with FEMJINA. They will never know how it floats or how it gloats. FEMJINA is in the forest and underground. You are safe, Robert, as long as you do exactly what I want. So remember that little speech you gave me, because it is what I will use to tell you how you have remained out of the gutter this far.
Robert: But now there is something I want.
Gloria: What is that?
Robert: You. I want to sleep with you.
Gloria: Robert, that just can’t happen not in these light years before us. I’ve told you this a hundred times before. (handing him tumbler) Refill please.
Robert: Why?
Gloria: Because I am thirsty.
Robert: But I want to touch you.
Gloria: Oh please, do you know how rusty the parts are? Enough. Give me my glass.
In the underground labs of FEMJINA INC., Dr. G rushes in.
DR: I’ve got it. I’ve found it.
Gloria: What? We may be overheard.
DR: No, no. This here is spy equipment -this remote control senses bugs. . .and not the kind in your hair or in your bed or your pubic region either, it senses electronic bugs in the mere vicinity. AND it detects there are none present in this basement lab.
Gloria: Good, then we can talk plainly in a matter of speaking plain.
DR: But the real news is that I have obtained an access key to the Magic wing. There we can steal magic.
Gloria: Oh, Doctor, I want to rub you down in oils of Arabia! My first order of business is to fly these chickens known as the FEMJINA congress and presidential suite off to cloud nine. Gloria McNan must reign supreme. Next, bite the head off that bitch who put my smoky treat out in the hospital. . .third, obtain my son with the film and then marry him promptly. All the while I will be learning MaJACK!
Robert and DR: Him?
Gloria: Him.
DR: Him who?
Robert: Whose him?
Gloria: Him. You. Him. Not you. Him. Everybody. Get me?
Robert: Not sure.
DR: (to himself) Not sure I like this.
Gloria: So what’s the status of my son?
Robert: He got away.
Gloria: Yes, I am fully aware.
Suddenly the door bursts open and the President returns with guards from the FEMJINA security department.
President: Gloria.
Gloria: What, featherbottom?
President: FEATHER BOTTOM? You dare call me that?
Gloria: Well that’s what you’re going to be when your ass is floating up into heaven. Get em, girls.
DR: What girls?
Robert and the Doctor look at each other. Gloria slowly unbuttons her blouse where her boobs are machine gun titties. She blows the President and the guards away.
President: Gloria, NO!
When the firing stops, everyone is dead except Gloria, Robert, and DR. One guard survives. He crawls slowly towards the door. Gloria walks up to him.
Gloria: Nobody drops a curtain on this fine ass. Please go tell everyone that Gloria McNan is the new president of FEMJINA INCORPORATED.
Robert: But there has never been a president who is ALSO in the League of Femjina.
DR: You are like Nero now or or Julius Caesar!
Gloria: Except I’m the only one doing the knifing and burning bridges around here. Martini, stat. We have a lot of work to do.
Robert: You’ve given me everything, Gloria. Freedom. You’ve given me complete freedom to live the life that I want. I have a lot of little boys to play with and you have fed me, clothed me, and housed me. You have even saved me from the police.
Gloria: The pigs will never be involved with FEMJINA. They will never know how it floats or how it gloats. FEMJINA is in the forest and underground. You are safe, Robert, as long as you do exactly what I want. So remember that little speech you gave me, because it is what I will use to tell you how you have remained out of the gutter this far.
Robert: But now there is something I want.
Gloria: What is that?
Robert: You. I want to sleep with you.
Gloria: Robert, that just can’t happen not in these light years before us. I’ve told you this a hundred times before. (handing him tumbler) Refill please.
Robert: Why?
Gloria: Because I am thirsty.
Robert: But I want to touch you.
Gloria: Oh please, do you know how rusty the parts are? Enough. Give me my glass.
In the underground labs of FEMJINA INC., Dr. G rushes in.
DR: I’ve got it. I’ve found it.
Gloria: What? We may be overheard.
DR: No, no. This here is spy equipment -this remote control senses bugs. . .and not the kind in your hair or in your bed or your pubic region either, it senses electronic bugs in the mere vicinity. AND it detects there are none present in this basement lab.
Gloria: Good, then we can talk plainly in a matter of speaking plain.
DR: But the real news is that I have obtained an access key to the Magic wing. There we can steal magic.
Gloria: Oh, Doctor, I want to rub you down in oils of Arabia! My first order of business is to fly these chickens known as the FEMJINA congress and presidential suite off to cloud nine. Gloria McNan must reign supreme. Next, bite the head off that bitch who put my smoky treat out in the hospital. . .third, obtain my son with the film and then marry him promptly. All the while I will be learning MaJACK!
Robert and DR: Him?
Gloria: Him.
DR: Him who?
Robert: Whose him?
Gloria: Him. You. Him. Not you. Him. Everybody. Get me?
Robert: Not sure.
DR: (to himself) Not sure I like this.
Gloria: So what’s the status of my son?
Robert: He got away.
Gloria: Yes, I am fully aware.
Suddenly the door bursts open and the President returns with guards from the FEMJINA security department.
President: Gloria.
Gloria: What, featherbottom?
President: FEATHER BOTTOM? You dare call me that?
Gloria: Well that’s what you’re going to be when your ass is floating up into heaven. Get em, girls.
DR: What girls?
Robert and the Doctor look at each other. Gloria slowly unbuttons her blouse where her boobs are machine gun titties. She blows the President and the guards away.
President: Gloria, NO!
When the firing stops, everyone is dead except Gloria, Robert, and DR. One guard survives. He crawls slowly towards the door. Gloria walks up to him.
Gloria: Nobody drops a curtain on this fine ass. Please go tell everyone that Gloria McNan is the new president of FEMJINA INCORPORATED.
Robert: But there has never been a president who is ALSO in the League of Femjina.
DR: You are like Nero now or or Julius Caesar!
Gloria: Except I’m the only one doing the knifing and burning bridges around here. Martini, stat. We have a lot of work to do.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
19
Curtain drops on Gloria and she is unconscious under the curtain. Lights up on a smaller portion of the stage which is now turned into a small living room. There is a teenage boy which we have not seen before sitting on the couch watching television in shorts and a t-shirt. There is a side table next to him which he has placed a bowl of popcorn on. The phone rings the boy grabs a handful of popcorn and shoves it in his mouth then answers the phone.
Corey: Yeah, hello?(Pause while he chews and listens) Yeah, she isn’t home now (Goes to hang up) huh? Yeah I don’t know if I have a pen…wait I’ll look for one. (sets the phone down and watches TV for a minute then picks the phone back up) yeah you still there? Nope I couldn’t find one. Call back later ok? (goes to hang up) huh? I don’t know what time later, Jesus who is this? Ok then Dr G is it an emergency? Well I don’t think it really is. I’ll tell her you called when she gets home though. (hangs up. Starts watching more TV. The phone rings again, he waits and doesn’t want to answer it but then does) Yeah hello? (Pause) hello? I said hello? Anyone there? Jesus static. What the hell (He hangs up. He starts watching TV again. Then the phone rings. He answers) Yeah hello? Breathing, very funny. Who is this? Fuckin’ freak yeah well it doesn’t scare me. What’s your favorite scary movie? (He laughs then hangs up. He keeps flipping the channels and then starts watching something and starts laughing about it. The phone rings again) Yeah hello? (Pause) Oh dude what’s up? No no nothing really just watchin TV why?(Pause) No not really, I’m just watching some weird show or something. Yeah it’s a new show I watch now. Its pretty sweet. Its called Chef-Porn-R-D. (Pause) No dude I think you would like this show it is so funny. (Pause) No it isn’t like the Ma-Jak show although that show was really funny. No this show is like people in red chef hats that jump around on each other or something (his voice gets slower as he starts to watch the show and not pay attention to the fact that he is on the phone. He starts to laugh) Huh? No it wasn’t you it was the show. What did you just say? (pause) sorry I was sorta listening but this is really funny. Are you at home? You should turn it on. (pause) huh? I am listening why whats up? (pause) he what? I thought he couldn’t move? (pause) the nurse stole him? What the hell kind of hospital is he at? Yeah yeah ill come out. But I need more info than that man. Like what the hell is going on? (pause) ok what should we do about it? (pause) ok I’ll come over right now…no wait I cant my mom has the car. And a bunch of people have called and I have to give her the messages or something. (pause) some DR G or something. (says this slow) and some weird breather and some static or something. Holy shit! I think I’m going to die! Holy shit! (pause) you got to come over and help me right now! Run as fast as you can…Mike? Mike? Holy shit Mike are you there? (Starting to cry) Mike holy shit Mike!!! (The lights go out. There is a light from under the curtain as someone starts to raise it up and Gloria becomes alive again. She stands and begins to straighten her dress up. She saunters over to the table and pours herself a cocktail and then lights a cigarette. The place is dark as the lights come up on Gloria the light starts to revive her)
Gloria: Thank you Robert for freeing me from that horrid curtain. (pause) Twenty-million and seventy thousand light years before now I was hardly a graduate from the University.
A meer pawn in this game that we call of games this gamete that reminds us of the best times.
Robert: you got knocked down
Gloria: You piss! Don’t interrupt me from my blather. I hired you or rather you stumbled into my presence and became a surgeon of my work. I know you like the blood baths as much as I do Robert but you know I have another man. I have a can of creamed corn and I cant compromise that kind of thing right now. What have you done with the boy?
Robert: if you wont have me then what was all my work with the boy for?Gloria: Oh my stupid Robert my darling stupid Roberto. You are a grease like any of the disgusting pieces of shit that live among us you are one of the worst. Praying on the genitals of little children to light your way to exploration or rather explosion. And you see dear that I knew this. I knew you wanted yurned really for the child. In your eyes in your mannerisms other than the one protruding now. I created love for you by destruction of another.
Corey: Yeah, hello?(Pause while he chews and listens) Yeah, she isn’t home now (Goes to hang up) huh? Yeah I don’t know if I have a pen…wait I’ll look for one. (sets the phone down and watches TV for a minute then picks the phone back up) yeah you still there? Nope I couldn’t find one. Call back later ok? (goes to hang up) huh? I don’t know what time later, Jesus who is this? Ok then Dr G is it an emergency? Well I don’t think it really is. I’ll tell her you called when she gets home though. (hangs up. Starts watching more TV. The phone rings again, he waits and doesn’t want to answer it but then does) Yeah hello? (Pause) hello? I said hello? Anyone there? Jesus static. What the hell (He hangs up. He starts watching TV again. Then the phone rings. He answers) Yeah hello? Breathing, very funny. Who is this? Fuckin’ freak yeah well it doesn’t scare me. What’s your favorite scary movie? (He laughs then hangs up. He keeps flipping the channels and then starts watching something and starts laughing about it. The phone rings again) Yeah hello? (Pause) Oh dude what’s up? No no nothing really just watchin TV why?(Pause) No not really, I’m just watching some weird show or something. Yeah it’s a new show I watch now. Its pretty sweet. Its called Chef-Porn-R-D. (Pause) No dude I think you would like this show it is so funny. (Pause) No it isn’t like the Ma-Jak show although that show was really funny. No this show is like people in red chef hats that jump around on each other or something (his voice gets slower as he starts to watch the show and not pay attention to the fact that he is on the phone. He starts to laugh) Huh? No it wasn’t you it was the show. What did you just say? (pause) sorry I was sorta listening but this is really funny. Are you at home? You should turn it on. (pause) huh? I am listening why whats up? (pause) he what? I thought he couldn’t move? (pause) the nurse stole him? What the hell kind of hospital is he at? Yeah yeah ill come out. But I need more info than that man. Like what the hell is going on? (pause) ok what should we do about it? (pause) ok I’ll come over right now…no wait I cant my mom has the car. And a bunch of people have called and I have to give her the messages or something. (pause) some DR G or something. (says this slow) and some weird breather and some static or something. Holy shit! I think I’m going to die! Holy shit! (pause) you got to come over and help me right now! Run as fast as you can…Mike? Mike? Holy shit Mike are you there? (Starting to cry) Mike holy shit Mike!!! (The lights go out. There is a light from under the curtain as someone starts to raise it up and Gloria becomes alive again. She stands and begins to straighten her dress up. She saunters over to the table and pours herself a cocktail and then lights a cigarette. The place is dark as the lights come up on Gloria the light starts to revive her)
Gloria: Thank you Robert for freeing me from that horrid curtain. (pause) Twenty-million and seventy thousand light years before now I was hardly a graduate from the University.
A meer pawn in this game that we call of games this gamete that reminds us of the best times.
Robert: you got knocked down
Gloria: You piss! Don’t interrupt me from my blather. I hired you or rather you stumbled into my presence and became a surgeon of my work. I know you like the blood baths as much as I do Robert but you know I have another man. I have a can of creamed corn and I cant compromise that kind of thing right now. What have you done with the boy?
Robert: if you wont have me then what was all my work with the boy for?Gloria: Oh my stupid Robert my darling stupid Roberto. You are a grease like any of the disgusting pieces of shit that live among us you are one of the worst. Praying on the genitals of little children to light your way to exploration or rather explosion. And you see dear that I knew this. I knew you wanted yurned really for the child. In your eyes in your mannerisms other than the one protruding now. I created love for you by destruction of another.
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