2

Falco, another!

Falco: But you just-

Ms. McNan: I don’t care! Now! I’ll be in my office!

She exits with a flourish. Falco doesn’t move. Jonathan enters.

Falco: (to Robert) You can take five until-

Robert: Doesn’t she want me to talk to this boy?

Falco: Yeah, yeah, but not right now.

Jonathan: Curtis, what’s going on?

Falco: Can you go wait in your dressing room?! Please! Take the cheetos!

Robert exits

Jonathan: Curtis, why’d you call me?

Falco: I’ve done a really, really bad thing, Jonathan.

Jonathan: What is it?

Falco: You know how I always work myself into tight spots?

Jonathan: What’d you do?

Silence

Falco: I hired an actual pedophile to play a pedophile for Gloria McNan’s new reality-docu-film drama play. And this guy is really preying on kids!

Jonathan: What?!

Falco: And she’s lost it. She’s an alcoholic! She has no artistic integrity anymore. She stumbles around, mis-using words, and thinks she’s got the next hit on her hands. She thinks this Robert is bad at playing a pedophile, but he’s an actual pedofile! So I need you-

Jonathan: I’m leaving, Curtis!

Falco: You can’t! No. No. No. You leave and everybody will know what controversial play you are planning on producing. The censors will have you shut down so fast.

Jonathan: Shhh! (pause) What do you want me to do?

Falco: We have to have Ms. McNan killed.

Jonathan: What?

Falco: I think this will fit in nicely with your play, don’t you think?
Silence