5

(Suddenly there is a loud bang in the back as Curtis’s wife Janet busts through the door with a gaggle of children in hand. They rush in and then are immediately startled by what they see. There are gasps and screams as Janet and the “helper” Josie try and cover the children’s eyes)
Janet: What is going on here?
Falco: (trying to explain) Janet I can explain! Really I was trying to tell you that today wasn’t a good day to come, and that I don’t think this is something that you should have brought the child-
Janet: you were telling me that this was a children’s play!
Falco: well it involves children
Janet: Oh very funny! We are going to talk about this-
Jonathan: If I may-
Mc. Nan: No you may not! This dear lady is my master piece (she starts to sway and stumble toward Janet) and no one, even some little uptight crumpled down and worn out house wife is going to tell me that I am directing trash. This is one of the greatest projects there is out there, you see the problem is that you are used to seeing crap! Crap crap crap! Theater that doesn’t evoke, theater that doesn’t make you wonder, flat theater that has no room for imagination what so ever! And then you come in here and you think that this is crap? It is because your tiny brain is clouded with nothing but television shows and Oprah merchandise. Get a clue lady. This is real raw bleeding theater. This is where dreams are made. So get your fat ass and ugly children out of my studio.
(Janet is so taken aback that she stands in silence for a moment before realizing that Gloria has stopped speaking)
Janet: I have never-
McNan: Yeah yeah yeah you have never been so taken aback or something of the sort. Use a different vocabulary and evolve monkey
(Janet glares at Curtis and starts to walk off in a huff. Everyone is silent. Gloria looks at Jonathan and starts to walk close to him. He tenses up because he feels that he is in trouble)
Jonathan: I can explain!
McNan: Can you make a drink for me before you do
Falco: Yes ill get you that drink Gloria. Don’t you think that was kinda harsh?
McNan: Harsh is what is in the past my boy, you know nothing about theater if you know a day of it. There are rules. Theater is like WAR. And they don’t serve soggy carrots in war. Where the hell are the good carrots? (Pushes the tray off the table) You see (Jonathan hands her the drink) Thank you, I like you. I think if you weren’t wearing that suit that I would make you the pool boy. I think this show needs a pool boy. (Pause) Where was I?
Jonathan: Pool boy
Falco: Carrots?
McNan: The rules. Theater is a delicate hard process. It is driven into your soul and strips you of any feeling below the waist. But the real thing about truckers is that you don’t know where they go
(Jonathan and Falco slip from her grip and start to talk behind her raving, she continues to rant and rave)
Jonathan: Oh boy are you in trouble with the wife!
Falco: I know I can’t believe that she came here. I knew it would only result in something bad going down. And she brought the damn kids!!
Jonathan: How is she going to explain that to the parents?
Falco: She doesn’t.
(Gloria realizes that no one is listening and starts to talk to Falco and Jonathan again)
McNan: Falco, Rico boys boys you are my boys. But we need to continue even though we had an unpleasant disruption, if you will.
(All of a sudden the door busts open and Josie reappears)
Josie: Uhhh, Curtis, we can’t find a couple of childrenMcNan: (looking around) where is my Robert dear?