4

Ms. McNan- That’s the spot! Look he’s practicing for the role. Bibbitybobbityboo!

She forgets about Jonathan and Falco. Falco helps Jonathan up. She rushes over to Robert with his pants down. Robert is frozen like a deer in a headlights.

Robert- Ms. McNan, I want to thank you. I have never felt so accepted before.

Jonathan and Falco talk aside.

Falco- This is escalating worse than I thought. We have to kill her this afternoon!

Jonathan- Curtis, I think you have me misunderstood. When you and I got drunk together that one evening, I wasn’t serious about producing that theatrical-docudrama-snuff film.

Falco- Then why’d you hesitate when I said I’d tell everyone about it?

Ms. McNan-Oh boys. I think we’re going to begin filming again, Robert’s stiffened up a bit on the part-y. Oh pardon the pun. FALCO, I’m almost empty. Delinquint? Ha. Genius!

Jonathan- Why do you have to be the one to stop her?

Falco- She’s produced hits before. She’s a moneymaker. The production company wants her to succeed. They’ve given her license to do whatever she wants so she wants to make something controversial. Really the company is going to steal her name, dumb all the graphic parts down, and she’s going to end up hurting some real people in the process!

Jonathan- Animals were hurt in the making of this film.

Falco- Exactly.

Jonathan- So you want me to do what? Take an axe and chop off her head?

Falco- Jonny boy, I’ve always admired you. You know I’ve been trying to make it in this biz as much as Ms. Gloria McNan herself. I want you to kill her, shoot it on film, and then we’ll sell it to the sickos out there.

Jonathan- But-

Falco- But? Nothing. We’ll be doing humankind a service!

Falco’s cell phone rings. He answers.

Falco- Hello? Yeah. No. No. Not a good time honey. We’re in the middle of shooting. No. No. No. I can’t have that happening. Just a sec. (to Jonathan, he pulls papers out of a binder) Look at this.

Jonathan- What’s this?

Falco- Just look at it. (back to phone) yeah. No, absolutely not.

Ms. McNan- I really think I’m likey liken your style, Robert. Let’s get warmed up at the computer again.

Robert- Okay.

Jonathan-(reading) Robert McCaffrey, convicted felon, three accounts of sexual assault,

Robert- (typing) I would want you to come over here.

Ms. McNan- Yes, say to the studio theater on the west lot.

Falco- (defeated) Alright.

Jonathan- Wow, this guy is fucked up.

Falco- This is bad.

Jonathan- He does women, children, men, and animals. Animals will be harmed in the making of this film! What is it?

Falco- My wife is bringing her group over for a theater tour. She thought it’d be fun. My wife doesn’t take no for an answer when she gets an idea. League of Women Voters watch out!

Jonathan- League of Women Voters, what do they do?

Falco- It’s a bunch of women who talk about how great woman’s suffrage is. It’s nothing but an excuse to drink coffee and play games and gossip.

Robert- The boy said he’d come over here. He did.

Ms. McNan- Falco, get over here. I need three cameras set up in Robert’s dressing room for a private sessession.

Falco- Sessession?

Ms. McNan- French for get me a drink and do what I say. I love my life.