18

Alisa and Mom walk down the hallway of the school. Different parents come up and congratulate them.

Parent #1: You guys did awesome!

Parent #2: Everybody thinks you guys will win the pennant.

Child: Hey Alisa! Can you do that split kick again?

Alisa does the split kick in mid-air and someone runs up and shoves her.

Alisa: Ouch! My knee!

Mom: Alisa, baby! Oh my God. Are you okay? Did anybody see that masked man push my child?

A woman comes forward.

Woman: I did.

Mom: Oh thank God. Thank God. Please can you come with me?

Mom helps Alisa up who is limping and the three rush into the dressing room.

Mom: (to Woman) Who are you?

Woman: I’m one of the parents.

Mom: You saw that man in the mask out there?

Woman: Yeah.

Alisa: My leg is swollen.

Mom: What did he look like?

Woman: He was tall. . .maybe medium height.

Mom: More. . .tell me more. . .

Woman: He had on a ski mask. I don’t know if there is any more.

Mom: Look. Things have been happening to my family. Well, my daughter and me for a long time. It all started a long time ago when my five year old son was kidnapped from me and strange things happen so often ever sense, except I or we-

Alisa: We. . .we, Mom, definitely, We.

Mom: We can never track down who is doing these things. AND if it ever happens in public, nobody ever sees anything. EVER. . .but you did.

Woman: But I did. (noticing flowers across the room) Those are pretty flowers.

Mom: Wait. . .Alisa. . . don’t-

Woman: What do they smell like?

Mom runs up, grabs the bouquet out of Alisa’s hand, and points them towards the lady. Colored smoke comes out of them at the last second and gets the lady in the face.

Woman: (collapsing) You better . . .watch out. . .we’ll get you yet.

The woman hits the ground with a thud. A walkie talkie falls out of her pants.

McNan (on walkie talkie, a mere voice)- Are they dead yet? Did you kill them?

Mom- (picks up walkie talkie) Listen. . .bitch. I have this walkie talkie now and you missed. You missed us again. . .and my daughter and I will not live with this torment anymore. I’m taking this walkie talkie to the police station and you are gonna have it done to you. You are going to be put away for so long. . .

McNan (on talkie)- Game over, my apple blossoms.

A giant explosion is heard elsewhere in the building.

Mom: My God.

Another explosion erupts not far from them and the door blows in. Smoke clouds the room. Mom grabs a blanket and the woman’s wig from the ground which has fallen off.

Alisa: Mommy! I can barely walk.

Mom: I’m wrapping you in this blanket and we are getting out of here.

McNan: (on talkie) I wouldn’t be so sure, donkey bottoms.

Gloria laughs maniacally. Alisa is wrapped in the blanket and they exit through the smoke after Mom throws the walkie talkie up against the wall and it explodes. A curtain is pulled to the side to close the scene and another one is whisked open. A giant building stands before us. FEMJINA INC. It is so large, we only see part of a neon A lit up. Brown foliage surrounds a sign that says: Welcome to Femjina Inc. Please select below to go to the right wing: Product and Production Wing (arrow left), Black Arts (arrow right), Open-gate to Hell (straight ahead), Finances (from whence you came). Plastic plants have been added to give the surroundings a pleasanter feel. A giant door opens and we see Gloria McNan before a large desk. We cannot see who sits at the desk, but it is the President of the Company. He has the booming voice of God.

President: Gloria.

McNan: (smoking) What?

President: The movie has been in post-production for 15 years now or something like that. When are we going to get this movie? Do I have to directly threaten your life?

McNan: Do I have to remind you that your predecessor-general made me officially in the League of Femjinas? Are you a Femjina? I don’t think so. So watch your language or I’ll have to squash you like a bug. I want access to the magic wing. I wanna make maJACK!