6

Falco: You can’t find the children?!

Josie: They went running through the wings, up into trap doors and down stairs.

Jonathan: Which ones?

Falco: How many are there?

Robert enters.

Robert: Six I counted.

Jonathan: I thought that this was the league of women voters, not the league of brats.

Falco: It’s also a babysitting party. None of these ladies pay for a babysitter so all the kids play in the background.

Jonathan: Where are all these voters?

The women enter and swamp the place.

McNan: Hide the booze! Hide the booze! I mean it.

Josie: Mr. Falco.

Falco: What?

Josie: What should I do?

Falco: Go find my wife and tell her that you and I are having an affair. I’m at my wits end. I don’t want to hide this any longer.

Josie: But then the house’ll get split and I won’t be able to use your Jacuzzi anymore.

Falco: Look, doll, children are everywhere. There is a pedofile on the loose and we need to stop him.

Josie: Are you the pedofile?

Jonathan: No.

Josie: Are you?

McNan: No. But Falco, get the fucking cameras on this. This. This is beautiful.

Janet runs through chasing a child with one in her arms.

Janet: I think I want a divorce.

Falco: Good idea.

Janet: Good?

Falco: Yes good.

Josie: Can he have the Jacuzzi?

Silence

Janet: You bitch. (pause, sobs) And you son of a bitch. You’re not supposed to say that. I loved you. Love you. Loved you. Love you. Awww. Hell. I don’t know what I feel.

Janet sobs, the women stare at her, Jonathan covers his mouth, Gloria points the camera, children run amuck and play. Suddenly through the silence a small door opens in the back of the stage. A boy enters. They all focus on him.

Boy- Where is Robert? Robert McCaffrey?

A curtain opens where Robert is there with one of the children.

Robert- Here I am.

Boy- I’m the boy from the internet. I’m here to play.