20: Gloria becomes President of FEMJINA INC.

Gloria: So fancy that my little pig droppings.

Robert: You’ve given me everything, Gloria. Freedom. You’ve given me complete freedom to live the life that I want. I have a lot of little boys to play with and you have fed me, clothed me, and housed me. You have even saved me from the police.

Gloria: The pigs will never be involved with FEMJINA. They will never know how it floats or how it gloats. FEMJINA is in the forest and underground. You are safe, Robert, as long as you do exactly what I want. So remember that little speech you gave me, because it is what I will use to tell you how you have remained out of the gutter this far.

Robert: But now there is something I want.

Gloria: What is that?

Robert: You. I want to sleep with you.

Gloria: Robert, that just can’t happen not in these light years before us. I’ve told you this a hundred times before. (handing him tumbler) Refill please.

Robert: Why?

Gloria: Because I am thirsty.

Robert: But I want to touch you.

Gloria: Oh please, do you know how rusty the parts are? Enough. Give me my glass.

In the underground labs of FEMJINA INC., Dr. G rushes in.

DR: I’ve got it. I’ve found it.

Gloria: What? We may be overheard.

DR: No, no. This here is spy equipment -this remote control senses bugs. . .and not the kind in your hair or in your bed or your pubic region either, it senses electronic bugs in the mere vicinity. AND it detects there are none present in this basement lab.

Gloria: Good, then we can talk plainly in a matter of speaking plain.

DR: But the real news is that I have obtained an access key to the Magic wing. There we can steal magic.

Gloria: Oh, Doctor, I want to rub you down in oils of Arabia! My first order of business is to fly these chickens known as the FEMJINA congress and presidential suite off to cloud nine. Gloria McNan must reign supreme. Next, bite the head off that bitch who put my smoky treat out in the hospital. . .third, obtain my son with the film and then marry him promptly. All the while I will be learning MaJACK!

Robert and DR: Him?

Gloria: Him.

DR: Him who?

Robert: Whose him?

Gloria: Him. You. Him. Not you. Him. Everybody. Get me?

Robert: Not sure.

DR: (to himself) Not sure I like this.

Gloria: So what’s the status of my son?

Robert: He got away.

Gloria: Yes, I am fully aware.

Suddenly the door bursts open and the President returns with guards from the FEMJINA security department.

President: Gloria.

Gloria: What, featherbottom?

President: FEATHER BOTTOM? You dare call me that?

Gloria: Well that’s what you’re going to be when your ass is floating up into heaven. Get em, girls.

DR: What girls?

Robert and the Doctor look at each other. Gloria slowly unbuttons her blouse where her boobs are machine gun titties. She blows the President and the guards away.

President: Gloria, NO!

When the firing stops, everyone is dead except Gloria, Robert, and DR. One guard survives. He crawls slowly towards the door. Gloria walks up to him.

Gloria: Nobody drops a curtain on this fine ass. Please go tell everyone that Gloria McNan is the new president of FEMJINA INCORPORATED.

Robert: But there has never been a president who is ALSO in the League of Femjina.

DR: You are like Nero now or or Julius Caesar!

Gloria: Except I’m the only one doing the knifing and burning bridges around here. Martini, stat. We have a lot of work to do.